<nettime> FW: Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall

[Bruce Sterling <bruces@well.com>]

------ Forwarded Message
From: "futurefeedforward" <fff@futurefeedforward.com>
Date: Sun, 17 Jun 2001 20:31:51 -0700
To: <bruces@well.com>
Subject: Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall



December 14, 2050

Consumer Capitalism Defective, U.S. Issues Recall

WASHINGTON DC--The U.S. National Intellectual Property Trust today issued
a formal recall of all licenses issued under its patents covering
consumerism, consumer capitalism, and consumer federalism.  Responding to
questions concerning the timing of the recall, Trust spokesman Franklin
Dolte noted that "we at the Trust have decided to take aggressive and
proactive measures to address several independent but uncorroborated
reports of side-effects associated with some of our more widely licensed
proprietary ideologies. Experts are examining the processes in question
and we anticipate returning consumerism to full use in good order.  But
our customers and their citizens are our first concern and so we're taking
steps now to initiate a recall just to be on the safe side."

    Among the first of the controversial 'social process' or 'ideology'
patents issued under rules promulgated by the WIPO six years ago, the U.S.
patent on consumerism and related "democratic social and cultural
processes" has been among the most lucrative patents in the U.S.
portfolio.  Licensees include some 1822 local, provincial, and national
sovereignties, the majority of which hold site licenses paying royalties
tied to domestic and local GDP, with the remainder holding seat licenses
billed on a sliding scale with discounts for 'temporary' seats assigned to
non-resident aliens and escaped or furloughed penitentiarents.

    Recently the U.S. Trust has sought to expand the market for its
consumerism patents by pursuing the private-sector.  The Trust's Dolte
explains:  "This technology sells itself.  The real task before us is not
to convince multi-nationals to make use of our proprietary ideologies, but
just to negotiate the terms under which they will pay for the property
they are already using."

    Long-time rumors of defects in consumer capitalism, including
accelerating income disparities and "environmentally negative
externalities" lead the U.S. Trust to compile a 1200 page disclaimer
issued and exhaustively counter-signed by each of its licensees.  
"Diarrhea," "mouth-breathing," and "TV" are among the more than 100,000
disclosed potential side-effects.  Absent from the disclaimer, however, is
the risk of an increase in what social scientists have come to call
"atomic nesting."

    "Atomic nesting is directly related to dramatic increases in the
production and availability of household appliances," explains MIT
Professor Emeritus Ricky Spongue.  "All of those appliances need places to
live.  In order to maximize their habitat, they entice individuals to set
up solitary households.  The result is that more and more people live
alone, and that is not necessarily a desirable social outcome."

    Responding to questions linking the recall to reported increases in
atomic nesting in licensee communities, Trust spokesman Dolte declined
specific comment.  "This is a general recall to examine any and all safety
issues," he noted.  "Our license agreements provide for recalls of this
sort.  Licensees are free to revert to pre-consumer ideologies and social
structures until we've reaffirmed that consumerism is safe for our
customers and their citizens."

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